friends and food comas

Gastronaut 15 as usual, make up a better title.
Now is about the time that everyone stops cooking. Come on now admit it. You’ve been shopping less, eating things that either: cook in 5 minutes, are from the scrounge line, the bookstore, or if you are avoiding the last mess you left in your meager dorm kitchen. It happens to all of us. Coffee has returned to its status as your largest food group, and truth be told, most of us forget to eat pretty often.
Somewhere, in these painfully sunny days, which we forsake for the bowels of the library, you need to get the fuck outta dodge for a while.
Go eat somewhere you haven’t been to before. Go FAR away. Remember, if the joint is across town, your break is even longer. Lounging on a bus with a friend and a food coma is something grand that will improve anyone’s day.
If that isn’t enough, there are many interesting restaurant experiences to behold in this great city. Some of these are cheap and funky, some are a little pricey, but worth it, unless I’ve never been— I wouldn’t lie about it now, would I?
I’ve got some selected places that I’ve organized by travel time, one way, by bus.
1) Yoko’s sushi (2878 SE Gladstone St): It was once reported to me that Yoko, the owner, is Ween’s favorite person. Or at least she is their favorite sushimistress. Yes, sushimistress. There are so few female sushi chefs trained in Japan, I’m not sure English has made up a term for them. The Japanese Food machismo—which is strong and apparent if you’ve ever witnessed Iron Chef—decrees, among other things, that women ‘warm’ raw fish and destroy its ‘freshness.’ Sigh…. Anyway, her joint is funky, very newbie friendly, and it has an extensive list of cooked dishes for the squeamish and unadventurous. I personally think there should be a dunce hat for people who avoid raw things. Shame them into compliance, that’s what I say. Ha! Bus time: Walk, you lazy bastard. It’ll do you good.
Oh, if you live a vacuous existence, you will LOVE the C-bar next door. If you can stand it, wait for your table there, they’ll call you ‘a la’ the Delta/Lutz
2) The funny Buddhist vegetarian restaurant on 84th and Division. I don’t know it’s name, but that doesn’t matter. It’s in a house. The owners appear to be pretty hardcore Buddhists. The place makes Vietnamese Gluten-meat concoctions. The fun part is taking a vegetarian somewhere where they can safely be completely fucking bewildered by the menu, and then point at something. CHEAP LUNCH. Bus time: 30.
3)Dots – (2521 SE Clinton St) It’s like scrounging at the Lutz, as David Lynch would see it. Cheap but watery drinks, greasy French fries, funky black velvet art. Vegan options. Fuzzy wallpaper. Cash/check only. Bus time: maybe 20?
4 and 5) Vegans, heads up. There are two new vegetarian places open downtown. I have not been to either, but they are: Veganopolis (412 SW Fourth Street
Portland, Oregon 97205) which is on the internet: I have recon coming soon; I’ll get back to you. Blossoming Lotus café is inside the Yoga in the Pearl location on NW Davis between 9th and 10th. The Chef, and sole employee as far as I know, is a Reed alum, and one funny dude, who can cook to beat the band. Bus Time: 30-40 minutes.
6) Clarklewis (1001 SE Water Ave): Go nuts. 2004 restaurant of the year. Haven’t been myself, but I’ve heard it’s every hipster foodie’s dream. GUARD YOUR EARS, it is a very noisy joint. Bus Time: 40
7) MINT—I’ve heard nothing but good things. If you’re bussing it, call ahead, and go with someone whose company you truly enjoy, it’s a long one. Bus Time: 1 hour
8) A very funny person told me to suggest the Hooters in Beaverton. There. I did it. Happy? Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter… damn kids….. mutter,,,think they’re so funny….. mutter
9) Syun Izakaya. This is the monster. If you need to diffuse the existential crisis with a long, meditative ride on a train and the best Japanese food in the state, head to Syun. The name literally means ‘fresh seasonal sake pub.’ Fish are flown from Tsukiji, the famous Tokyo market, EVERYDAY. It’s a two-hour train ride on the Red line, but it’s very little walking from the train. Hillsboro is a dose of suburbia, and if you watch Beaverton fly by, you return with a renewed appreciation that we do not live on the other side of those hills there yonder. Reservations are a MUST on weekends, but considering travel time, you’d be stupid not to call ahead. You can dooo iiiit! Bus/train time 90 min to 2 hr.