So here’s the deal. This post is the inauspicious–nah, fuck it, this thing is well over 1000 words. This is beyond auspicious, this is fucking ostentatious here, man–beginning of what I hope will become a semi-regular feature around the Portland foodblog scene, but the whole point is that I don’t have to keep doing it, so I’ll start the show and promptly forget about it all until someone volunteers to do another one.
According to the blog carnival website (which indexes things like this), “We love the idea of blog carnivals where someone takes the time to find really good blog posts on a given topic, and then puts all those posts together in a blog post called a ‘carnival’.”
According to me, I’m going to index local PDX foodblogs, pick a post I like (that’s fairly recent), and try to come up with something snarky to say about it. If you’ve got art on your site, I’ll probably nab it as well and put it next to the poorly worded, likely profane write up. For organization’s sake, I’m going to go alphatbetically, by name of Blog.
volunteers for the 2nd carnival can email me.
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first up to bat is Alt.Portland.com, Mistress VJ’s index of all things from a view ever-so-slightly-askew. Beyond digging herself some Loco NoPo Burr-eat-ohhs, and getting her snark on some “edible pasta”, she’s given me a long list of yarn stores at which I can dump my mom when she comes to visit. I owe her a pint for that.
Batting second and getting slightly uncomfortable with her writing is Can I Have A Bite who reminds us that the best part of PDX summertime are berries, and a good berry is a terrible thing to waste. I see no problems with her writing–boil up some strawberry leaf tea, CIHAB, it’s good for blockages, I hear. It might work on writer’s block as well.
Apparently batting by committee is allowed so third up to the plate are the peeps at Edible Porn. Besides calling each other esteemed and generally not doing much, they dropped some verbiage on the world’s most talented sausage deep-throater, or as the boys on SportsCenter like to say: “Sanctioned gluttony; there’s nothing more American than that.” They EP crew also repost a clip of an amazing band from Norway that is, as they put it, “the world’s leading kitchen appliance rock group.” which is kind of like being the world’s leading luddite computer technology firm, but nonetheless, the group is what I’d imagine the deformed child of the unholy union of John Cage, Kiss and Sigur Ros to be, but that’s just me.
Joe Morgan is still muttering to himself in the corner about how 5 bloggers managed to share a bat, fit in the batters box and manage to make the run to first on a putrid infield grounder look respectable.
I don’t know either, but they’re all taking batting practice on their own blogs:
making us all jealous of her fantastic Smooth Melon is Miss tasty, of Edible Porn Fame. I’m sure 3 Doors Down was great, as was the anniversary sex. buh dum cha!
Hungry T is holding court over at Tart aux Poires, making some good looking food and recommending a mixtape. Hungry-T is much more a fan of using the initials of the people he mentions on the blogosphere than I. I like making up silly names.
Batting Cleanup and doing his Nomar ADD glove thing with his pastrami is the local Foodblog God, ExtraMSG. Now everyone who pays attention to PDX food visits his site often, many of you probably found this site from a link on his, and Extramsg reliably posts useful information about events in the food world in and about the PDX. He’s also the author and tireless updater of the PDX tipsheet. Basically, he’s Big Papi, always coming through in the clutch when you need reliable info about a spot you want to try. (red sox fans, please pause before you send me a snarky email reminding me that Papi bats third. I know this people. It’s a metaphor.)
Since ExtraMSG rocks the scene with regularity, I’ll throw props to his Best Of Citysearch Portland Tea Party (part 2), a revolutionary effort to keep the jackasses *cough* stockpot broiler *cough* (and their restaurants) from screwing up the polls and leaving out the honest, wonderful restaurants we all love so dearly. Gotta love the tagline Stick it to the man, hands-free. That’s the only way I know how to stick it. That’s just how I roll.
Comin’ up fifth is the Food-dude and his merry band of dudes and dudettes (or los duderinos if you’re not into that whole brevity thing). FoodDude is bats alone, hitting every single fucking restaurant of merit or worthy of a look long before I save up enough to try. The most recent victim stems from another visit to the Carlyle. Homeslice also holds down the press-release tip, with a fair bit of rumor-mongering, but only when healthy and substantiated. Here’s an SAT analogy to help you understand:
ESPN : Ben Maller
One of FoodDude’s newest dudes spins a yarn about Pattie’s place that makes the place seem so great, but firmly admonishes me for thinking I could ever be welcome. Sigh, will I ever make a friend with these big black glasses and 5 o’clock shadow? I’m cool. My mom thinks I’m cool.
Batting 6th although I’m not sure she’d approve of the materials in the ball (or the glove), is Jess from Get Sconed, who receives the not-so-honorable honor of being second on the list of ‘PDX Foodbloggers making overt drug references on a daily basis.” I’m first, of course, but she gets the silver bong by name alone. Jess has been recipe testing for the next installment of the Post Punk Kitchen, she’s moving apartments, and can’t make up her fucking mind about a blogger layout. From the photos, it looks like the PPK has some good recipes in it.
this is a good spot for a comic strip.
from kawaiinot.comIn the seven hole , and alphabetically ironic is the Guilty Carnivore laying it down with some lemongrass beef, declares any bureaucratic move against trans-fats or foie gras an “anti-food ” movement, although I have to point out that none-a-yall are carnivores. Lemongrass ain’t got no legs, junior.
In the eighth spot is Je Mange la Ville, or as I like to call her, The Food Porn dominatrix. She cooks more than all of us combined, she blogs more than most, and she cranks out the best damn food fotos the PDX foodblogs scene could ask for. She’s reliable, and like Wily Mo, she’ll take a swing at any recipe, like Wild Green Fritters or Green Tea Salmon. As you can see from that last link, she also re-arranged her living room, just as Wily Mo likes to re-fashion his facial hair.
In the 9th spot, we have My Fascination with food and other musings, where Michele has been in the midst of a plum orgy recently. I’ve never, ever seen anyone make their own plum sauce. Hat tip on that, yo.
Our Pinch Hitter is Renaissance Culinaire, who found a really cool vintage bakery photo that she wanted to share.
PDX VEG was last seen napping under a tree in the forest, after frolicking St. Francis of Assisi style with the chipmunks. Okay, not really, but wherever they are, they ain’t posting.
PDX Happy was last seen passed out under a Wifebeater umbrella (get it? get it?).
Pete’s journal of how to eat food reads like an IM conversation between two drunk 12 year olds. On purpose, I’m sure, but it gave me a headache.
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Alright, That’s it for the inaugural carnival of PDX foodblogs. I left out some, especially ones that hadn’t been updated recently (that I couldn’t’ come up with something funny to say). You know what? There’s a lot more out there than I thought.
Nice – thanks for all the easy linking to other food-obsessed Planders
#7 – that’s the light hitting shortstop. But he has a high OBP, can scrap out an infield hit, and is threat to steal second if the pitcher doesn’t hold him close to the bag. He wields a mean glove, and can turn a double-play like no other.
Gastronaut – are you saying I’m the Ozzie Smith of PDX food blogs?
only if you can do tumbling routines with cleats on. but wouldn’t you rather be, you know, in the American League?
Baseball, food, *and* Portland! I think the only thing that would make me go farther into Happyland was if you’d managed a Joss Whedon reference, but I’ll takes what I can get.
Rock on, you crazy diamond!
Our merry little Belly Timber crew has just relocated to Portland, and I was so giddy on finding a PDX foodblog carnival right off the bat, that I included it in our BlogDay post. Give us a holler for the next inning, coach — we’ve got a mean split-finger fastball!
funny! thanks for the honor…months later.
I thought I had commented before about giving my blog a linky, but apparently I hadn’t.
I might have been the
“pinch hitter” — Bench warming isn’t all THAT bad… *wink*.
Thanks again.