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worst bar patrons, with my pdx twist

Jun 5th, 2007
by Mark.

I’m stuck in Tucson (Tuscon? Tscuno?) so I’m hurting for the pdx right now. It was 109 fucking degrees here today. days so hot not even crotch-beer saves you from suffering.

in league with the ‘judging people by their book covers‘ corollary introduced about a year ago, we now have the 11 most annoying bar people, with accompanying you tube videos.

I would add some portland specific ones:

1. the Pabst-o-philes, those folks who seem to derive some sort of working class street cred from torn thriftstore t-shirts my dad threw away 20 years ago and looking disdainfully at people who order something other than their preferred piss-water.

2. reverse pregnant bikers, (who are often part of group #1) those who refuse to remove their oversized messenger bags despite the obvious and very real danger that they’ll smack every seated person in the face in a crowded bar.

anyone got a another type of asshole to add?

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  • The Guilty Carnivore

    * The self-entitled smoker. The drunk fucker who chain smokes then gets all uppity because I happen to pull out a clove cigarette and it offends their delicate olfactory senses.

    There, I said. I will smoke a clove after a few drinks. I’m not goth.

    * The guy who talks to you while the band is playing. You can’t even hear him anyhow, so basically you just nod and throw in a random “That’s right” or “You got that right” or “Totally” every now and then.

    * The corollary to your PBR-o-phile…the Craft Beer Dick. The snob who summarizes your worldview depending on which IPA you choose. God forbid you actually order a Stella on tap.

    Fuck Tucson. I have to make a trip there in early Sept. Outside of getting drunk at Che’s on 4th for less than $20, I’m not looking forward to that.

  • The Guilty Carnivore

    * The self-entitled smoker. The drunk fucker who chain smokes then gets all uppity because I happen to pull out a clove cigarette and it offends their delicate olfactory senses.There, I said. I will smoke a clove after a few drinks. I’m not goth.* The guy who talks to you while the band is playing. You can’t even hear him anyhow, so basically you just nod and throw in a random “That’s right” or “You got that right” or “Totally” every now and then.* The corollary to your PBR-o-phile…the Craft Beer Dick. The snob who summarizes your worldview depending on which IPA you choose. God forbid you actually order a Stella on tap.Fuck Tucson. I have to make a trip there in early Sept. Outside of getting drunk at Che’s on 4th for less than $20, I’m not looking forward to that.

  • Gastronaut

    not a goth, perhaps, but dude- a clove? are you 14?

    oh, and you won’t be smoking that clove inside of Chez. that’s right, tucson’s ahead of PDX on the drink/smoking ban

  • Gastronaut

    not a goth, perhaps, but dude- a clove? are you 14?oh, and you won’t be smoking that clove inside of Chez. that’s right, tucson’s ahead of PDX on the drink/smoking ban