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Great Moments in Useless Appliances

Feb 14th, 2009
by Mark.

So there’s this contraption under our stove.  When Girlie first looked through the apartment, she understandably mistook it as an oven.

Our stove, teapot and 'oven'

You see it there? looking all cute and oven like?

I opened it up after we moved in and noticed the racks were oddly shaped, and there were little plastic wheels–two things that roasting pans don’t need.  So I assumed it was a dishwasher, and fiddled with the controls long enough to make it turn on.  But there was no water!

It looks like a robot pirate

It looks like a robot pirate

I called our management, and after a few weeks of asking the wrong people, we were informed today through our favorite translator, that it’s a DISH DRYER.  No, these things are not common in China: our translator was cracking up.  I took a peek in.  Yes indeed, there’s nothing but a box with a wee heater at the back.

that's a wee lil UV light there in the back

that's a wee lil UV light there in the back

So there you have it folks, we have a fucking dish dryer.  We plan on getting a thermometer and finding out how hot it gets–Who knows? perhaps it’s the perfect low-and-slow cooker–but we wanted to share with you the brilliant over-engineering feat that is a DISH DRYER.  Thanks GE Profile, you have set the bar higher for the rest of us.

Posted in: shanghai.
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  • http://everymanscritic.blogspot.com/ Chinamatt

    I have one of these too. Had a smaller one that didn’t actually work in our last apartment. It does heat up, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to sanitize the dishes.

    • http://www.markenglehartevans.com Markovitch

      ours appears to use UV light, which might make the heat aspect unimportant–we have a stick we use for sanitizing water in the boonies. The window for poisoning my legs while I cook doesn’t make me feel too good though.

  • http://everymanscritic.blogspot.com/ Chinamatt

    I have one of these too. Had a smaller one that didn’t actually work in our last apartment. It does heat up, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to sanitize the dishes.

    • http://www.markenglehartevans.com Markovitch

      ours appears to use UV light, which might make the heat aspect unimportant–we have a stick we use for sanitizing water in the boonies. The window for poisoning my legs while I cook doesn’t make me feel too good though.

  • Dan in Zhuhai

    Those dish dryers are fairly common over here…we had one in our first apartment that stank like holy hell and almost crushed my shins because it was not mounted correctly. Everyone I know that has one says it starts to reek of mildew unless you keep it clean. Of course, keeping it clean and mildew free requires some type of Chinese magic that weiguoren don’t seem to possess…but that’s our struggle.

    There is some sort of ionizing thingamabob inside them that supposedly sterilizes whatever you put in it; you can actually see little blue Back to the Future sparks when you turn some of the dryers on. I don’t think it actually sterilizes dishes, but rather sends them back to a cleaner, more sterile past. Likewise, one could just use some soap and a clean dish towel, but who am I to hate on shiny appliances with limited usefulness?

    Figuring out what exactly some Chinese appliances do is favorite pastime of mine, especially the ones that are always on sale in department stores. “You mean it’s a blender and a water boiler? Great – I always wanted a mug of hot vegetable juice!”

  • Dan in Zhuhai

    Those dish dryers are fairly common over here…we had one in our first apartment that stank like holy hell and almost crushed my shins because it was not mounted correctly. Everyone I know that has one says it starts to reek of mildew unless you keep it clean. Of course, keeping it clean and mildew free requires some type of Chinese magic that weiguoren don’t seem to possess…but that’s our struggle.

    There is some sort of ionizing thingamabob inside them that supposedly sterilizes whatever you put in it; you can actually see little blue Back to the Future sparks when you turn some of the dryers on. I don’t think it actually sterilizes dishes, but rather sends them back to a cleaner, more sterile past. Likewise, one could just use some soap and a clean dish towel, but who am I to hate on shiny appliances with limited usefulness?

    Figuring out what exactly some Chinese appliances do is favorite pastime of mine, especially the ones that are always on sale in department stores. “You mean it’s a blender and a water boiler? Great – I always wanted a mug of hot vegetable juice!”

  • http://gidyczd.myvidoop.com/ Dan Gidycz

    I think using it as a slow cooker is definitely the way to prevent the mildew smell. There’s nothing quite like a UV-sanitized beef brisket.

  • http://gidyczd.myvidoop.com/ Dan Gidycz

    I think using it as a slow cooker is definitely the way to prevent the mildew smell. There’s nothing quite like a UV-sanitized beef brisket.