Tag Archives: meme

I got tagged

GC, you fucker

5 things meme:

1. I am a recently minted member of the Timbers Army and giant footie fan in general. You wanna talk about baseball? I’m down with that (go Red Sox), but don’t get on me if I don’t know your minor leaguers. You don’t know the difference between ‘Ronaldo el Gordo’ and ‘Ronaldo el Guapo‘.

2. I’ve only hated 2 meals I’ve had in Portland, and I didn’t blog about them. Most of it was the company, anyway. Despite my penchant for vitriolic post-meal banter, I always have a good time. Either I’m gleeful about the food, or gleeful about making fun of it. Usually I dislike restaurants because they annoy me. Weird, I know.

3. Ever since I was a yout’ I always put Tito on restaurant waiting lists, unless it’s a Mexican restaurant. Then I’m Boris. don’t bite my steez. It’s a byproduct of having a very common name.

4. GC and I come from the same town. My first food memory was taking a field trip during kindergarten to Alejandro’s Tortilla factory. I was (am) a lazy fuck, so I complained the whole way. When I got there? I shut the fuck up and had a groin-grabbingly transcendent and life altering experience. Alejandros=best. tortillas. ever.

5. I first realized I could write about food when I was running a restaurant suggestion/cooking advice service through my mobile phone. I actually got laid once because I fixed a girl’s alfredo sauce that was too thin over the phone (the sauce fixing, not the sex). I also helped a lot of my friends look more respectable than they should have.

Bonus fact: I only hope that one day I’m a powerful enough critic that the restaurateurs of my city will band together and try to kill me with a pastry.

“I like pizza, I like Bagels,
I like hot dogs with Mustard and Beer
I’ll eat eggplant,
I could even eat a ba-aby deer
la-la-la-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la
who’s the baby deer on the la-a-awn?”

(that’s from memory, bitches)

Here’s my Punishment, SeƱor Pollo Elastico. You have to do the next Carnival of PDX foodblogs.