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Miscellaneous

Tales of woe from the backseat

Mar 17th, 2009
by Mark.
6 comments

We are two of the few people who move into an unfurnished apartment in China.  The housing system works such that every building is a condoplex, and slumlords buy up apartments and rent them, furnished, to the plebes, for massive profit.  This system has it’s benefits–no one really loses money when the system demands every 10 year old building be torn down, but it has drawbacks as well: our landlord is a real ‘see you next Tuesday.’

Shanghai Streets

Shanghai Streets

I attempted to venture to B&Q, China’s answer to Home Depot, down to the orange aprons and questionable advice from scruffy looking guys who really should know what they’re talking about.  I set out with a printed address, hoping to score some simple things: extension cords, light bulbs, vacuum bags, etc, but lo, was I to be punished.  Rule #1, anything that should be easy, isn’t.

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I want to teach this class

Feb 4th, 2009
by Mark.
2 comments

At various time over many years I’ve had the pleasure and annoyance of torturing culinary school students.  Sure, some are atually talented, but those usually figured out culinary school was a rip off early on but stuck it out anyway.

Now I present an Achewood comic, encapsulating how I treated (or wanted to trick) my interns.

hat tip to one of the two Nats.

Pardon the Dust, or Eat it

Jan 10th, 2009
by Mark.
2 comments

Howdy Folks!  Things will be changing a bit around here, because I hightailed it out of PDX for the new challenge that is Shanghai, China.  I’ll be here for a while with girlie, and I’ll be blogging as best I can, you can buhleeee’ dat.

I’ve already seen some amazing feats of architecture, had a cabbie fall asleep at the wheel, eaten my first dumplings and joined up with the Shanghai twitterverse.  We’re in temporary housing and it’s much colder than I anticipated (the housing AND the weather).  Our bastard international movers packed all our guidebooks and phrasebooks when we weren’t looking, so our first weekend has been dedicated to replacing them, which is a bit like trying to cook one-handed (I have some experience with that).

And PDXers, don’t believe for a minute I won’t be watching: I still hope to watch and blog all the Timbers matches via USLLive, and we hope to visit at least once or twice this year.

For a little plumbing, all posts regarding Portland will be added to the Stumptown category, and the new Shanghai category will hold all the new stuff I write about here, until I rename it for a cheeky nickname, as that would be needless but funny.

In closing, Shanghai people, Howdy!  There’s a new gunslinger in town, hat and bolo tie at the ready.  I will eat my way through this city with vigor and aplomb.  I eagerly accept recommendations.  I will root for your football team and learn Mandarin as fast as I can.

To PDX peeps, keep my seat warm, and do your part to drink my share of the beer.  Keep Obama honest and don’t let any of my favorite restaurants close.  I’ll be seeing y’all later, bitches.

Whodathunkit? Bill Simmons vs. Mick Foley

Dec 25th, 2008
by Mark.
2 comments

Bill Simmons is a douchey yet extraordinarily popular writer for ESPN.com‘s Page 2, and has a short column in ESPN the Magazine.  Mick Foley killed himself night in and night out in the ring for 20 years as Cactus Jack and many other characters, and was one of the focuses of a Pro Wrestling documentary, Beyond the Mat.

They both weighed in on Mickey Rourke’s new movie The Wrestler: Simmons loves it, and writes too much. Mick Foley, who apparently has written several novels and a children’s book,  weighed in on Slate.

This is clearly a movie to see, but the surprise to me is that Foley is so much better spoken than Simmons.  Further proof that the jump from unknown blogger to famous blogger is easier than professional wrestler to novelist.  Both articles made me want to see the movie, for sure, but Foley’s calm and insightful article is a better evaluation, and a better read.

Portland Chickens in the Atlantic

Dec 8th, 2008
by Mark.
2 comments

 

Borrowed from Flickr user a href=http://flickr.com/photos/thomashawkThomasHawk/a

Borrowed from Flickr user ThomasHawk

 

Urban Chickens

There is another option for Portland’s roosters on the run: about 40 minutes from downtown, just off the Mount Hood Highway in the town of Boring, sits Geren’s Farm Supply. The feed store has long operated a small, low-ceilinged shed called the Critter Korner, where farmers bring unwanted livestock. Geren’s then sells the animals. In recent years, however, city people have turned Geren’s into a kind of relocation center for banished roosters, according to Roz Rushing, the daughter of Geren’s owners. “I’ve had grown men in tears because they raised them as babies and they live in the city and can’t have a rooster,” Rushing says from behind the feed-store counter, where a dry-erase board keeps a running tally of Critter Korner’s population, and an orange cat named Mr. Dunn naps amid the day’s paperwork. “Then there’s some people, they’ve been spurred by their roosters, and they can’t wait to get rid of ’em. They say, ‘Take it away now. I never want to see it again.’”

I identify with these poor Chickens of the wrong gender.  I also am far too loud for the neighbors and if my Girlfriend had her way, I’d be left at a Feed Supply Store waiting for a lonely trucker to take pity on me.

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